In the book writing world, in the part where the “pros” tell us “plebes” how to go about writing a book, the terms “plotters” and “pantsers” frequently make an appearance. Plotters are those who write an outline first and adhere to it — these are the writers who know their ending before they write word one of their novel. Pantsers, from the Latin pants, meaning “pants” and ter, meaning “seat of the.” They are way more fun; everything is spur of the moment. They have no idea where the story is going, i.e., I will let the words on the page direct me where I go next.
I am a plotter, in the flesh. No one plots like I do. Not just when writing books. My whole life is a plot, a giant to-do list. Everything is planned out. I don’t know how to spell spontinaity, and if I did, it sure wouldn’t be my middle name.
Plotters can write in any genre they want, but historical fiction is a natural for them. That, of course, is if as the writer, you want to be factual. If the War of the Roses breaks out on Thursday night, you can’t instead be having your hero cajoled into a night down at the pub with the boys at that point. You can’t be moving Thursday night’s war to next Tuesday just because your character wanted to tie one on and you are letting him direct you where you go next in the story. History doesn’t work that way. Unless of course it’s revisionist history. But that’s an entirely different genre.
I — a natural-born plotter — always have a good idea of what a post on my blog is going to be about before I sit down to write it. I’ve plotted it out, which is beyond easy for a blog: come up with a topic and a couple of points, and I’m away to the races. I don’t spend an inordinate amount of time doing this, but the time I do spend is not nothing. If I sit down in front of a blank screen and expect to be enlightened, it’s not going to happen. It never has, and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it never will.
So, today, without a topic in mind, I went on a walk, first to clear my head and then to fill it with an idea, any idea. I stepped outside for the first time in 24 hours — a whole day spent inside away from the pollen. So there I was, bright-eyed and bushy tailed (what does that even mean?), ready to set off on my walk, ready to admire the spring gardens along the way — the forsythia and cherry blossoms in full bloom, the hyacinths and white and yellow daffodils, and those little blue things: a panoply of color. I sneeze, and out comes a tissue, blow my nose, sneeze again, a cough, another sneeze, and out comes the soggy tissue once more. Now all I see through my rheumy eyes is pollen-producing evil incarnate. Out went the idea of a “Colors of spring” post, replaced with “Evil plants and their offspring.”
But no, that wouldn’t work. Far too whiny. And by this time my head was so clogged up, I couldn’t think of anything else. So that’s where I was when I sat down just minutes ago, with no idea what to write about this week.
And just like that, a pantser was born.
For our listening pleasure today, Creedence Clearwater Revival …